A few notes on approaching a new people
2024-11-09
Having moved to Stuttgart just over a month ago, I naturally found (and still find) myself in situations, where I'm the awkward foreign person among all the locals and have to approach new people. While this can feel quite uncomfortable, I have surprisingly really enjoyed it so far and want to share a few insights I have learned along the way with you in this little article...
As already mentioned in many of my recent posts, I have just started studying computer science in Stuttgart as a part of my dual study program from a big German automotive company. This means that while I'm in a new city and new surrounding, there are many people having the same struggles around me - both at university and the company - naturally making the whole experience of connection to new people and building a network easier. I strongly believe however, that the experiences I made can still be generalized and should apply to people in all stages of life - although the exact details or effort involved might vary.
But enough of this preparation talk, here's the number one thing I have learned: Most (if not all) people you meet and talk to for some time turn out to be really nice and open - even towards total strangers. This is something every one of us should make sure not only to know, but also truly believe. In the news, we often hear these horror stories of what bad things can happen when meeting strangers and trusting them even just a little bit, but in reality nice people actually are the vast majority and you almost have to specially try to find such evil actors. This means that you really don't have to worry about having a great evening at a bar or whatever if you are alone - you can be sure to have an amazing time, if you choose so. You obviously need to be brave enough to approach people and have a conversation with them - which can be hard for the more introverted ones among us - but once you "know" one or two people you are often introduced to a bunch more, opening the door to connecting with a circle of friends.
Since we are already talking about connecting to people, I also want to encourage you to feel free to ask for the contact data of a person you have talked to for some time or share your own with them. This doesn't mean that you should walk around and offer your phone number to everyone, but after talking for 15 minutes or half an hour why not ask them if they would mind exchanging contacts to maybe meet again at an event. It's important to have the right attitude here: You have nothing to lose, so why not try? If they reject your offer, you still had a good conversation and if they accept it, all the better. While phone numbers still work absolutely fine for connection with others and I hate to admit it, social media really is your friend for networking. At least here in Germany, particularly Snapchat, BeReal and among certain groups Instagram can be door openers, since they have an even less "official" character than messaging apps like WhatsApp. This means people don't worry too much about sharing their information, while still allowing you to connect with them.
Before we go, here are some more small tips I can give you. Generally speaking, try to stick with one group of people to talk to for the duration of the event if they seem nice and don't mind your presence. This allows you to build a stronger connection to them compared to wandering around all the time and only speaking with a group for a few minutes. Another really important point I want to make is that you should always be respectful and shouldn't bother people clearly not interested in meeting new contacts .This is especially true for groups from another gender, since there is nothing more painful to watch than a man pestering a group of girls - you should stand above this level. Among the same lines is also the insight that you shouldn't be too drunk or otherwise effected by sedating substances when approaching new people - most (me included) certainly don't want to talk to someone not even able to form whole sentences anymore.
With that said though, I hope to have made an understandable point in favour of approaching new people wherever possible and being brave enough to do so in new environments. As always, feel free to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments down below and have a lovely day...